I’m no expert in dating, but I thought I should pose some questions about young men. What happened to dating standards? Are there any anymore? Here’s what I mean.
I met a guy at a party recently and I gave him my number. I recognize some of the things I need to reevaluate in making that decision, which will be discussed in a later article. My point is I was going to try “giving a guy a chance.”
He texted me, I texted back. Things were ok at first, but then there were red flags…
Red flag #1: He called me “sexy.”
The root of the word “sexy” is “sex.” I’ve decided that sex before exclusivity is out of the question. So, there lies the issue.
Red flag #2: He wants to see me again, but it’s 11 o’clock at night.
These are prime booty-call hours. I’m not interested in being any guy’s booty call, nor am I currently looking for a booty call myself. So I was wary of that…
Red flag #3: He doesn’t want a relationship, just “a woman to have fun with.”
This also goes back to the booty call, but more importantly, I am looking for a relationship. So I believed him; instead of trying to pursue anything I shut it down.
So my question is:
What’s going on?
Once upon a time, guys wanted to wine and dine their ladies. Now, I get that there are fundamental issues associated with that, but here is the central idea: what happened to the respect for the dating experience? When there was an expectation that a man shouldn’t just ask for a friends with benefits and that a woman wouldn’t just accept. I am not saying women should be some holier-than-thou sexless saints. I am not saying that guys should be buying off women with dates before they should expect sex. But I am saying that we should all start reevaluating the value of working at developing relationships with the opposite sex.
My observations of dating standards of women in my generation are: we like to say we’re “talking” instead of dating, we move too quickly from “I just met you” phase to “We’re boyfriend and girlfriend” phase, and we don’t go on dates before we’re in a relationship (if we go on dates at all).
So what can we do?
I am starting to demand more from the men I encounter, and you should do the same. Given that we are powerful, intelligent, ambitious, passionate, fun, loving, and beautiful young women, we deserve nothing less than a powerful, intelligent, ambitious, passionate, fun, loving, and handsome young man, who will treat us right and work to get in our good graces. Get in situations to meet good guys and demand dates during the “talking” phase. I’m going to start trying these tips, and I’ll let you know how it goes.
Do you think I’m right on target or way off the mark? What are today’s dating standards in your opinion?